Official experienced 'conversion' attempt

A Conversation with Cincinnati Councilman Chris Seelbach

By Natalie Porter

In an article published in the January issue of The Gay Word, I reported that the Cincinnati City Council voted to ban conversion therapy tactics for individuals under the age of 18, in a 7-2 vote on December 9, 2015. City Councilman Chris Seelbach introduced this bill to the Council. As a new Ohio resident (and resident of the Midwest), I wanted to learn more about Councilman Seelbach, his experiences with conversion therapy, and how the passage of this bill came about.

According to his biography on the Cincinnati City Council website, Councilman Seelbach was a key player in the effort of repeal Article XII in Cincinnati. Article XII denied legal protection to gays and lesbians in the City and led many gay men to leave Cincinnati (http://www.npr.org/2014/04/30/307967244/gays-in-cincinnati-from-second-class-citizens-to-fully-accepted). This anti-gay law cost the City over $25 million in lost revenue, an estimate provided by the Visitor’s bureau. Councilman Seelbach grew up in Kentucky and began advocating for LGBT rights as a college student at Xavier University in Cincinnati. He became the first openly gay City Council member in Ohio in 2011.

On February 9, 2016, I sat down with the City Councilman in his office in City Hall to discuss his personal experiences with conversion therapy, how he became involved in local politics, and the process of getting this bill passed.

You can link to part one of this conversation here: http://thegayword.com/official-experienced-conversion-attempt/

  Part two of this interview (in the April 2016 issue) will focus on the process of getting the anti-conversion therapy bill passed in Cincinnati.

Porter, N. (March 2016). Official experienced ‘conversion’ attempt. The Gay Word, 24(8), 35. http://thegayword.com/official-experienced-conversion-attempt/

Cincy bans conversion therapy

While suicide is the second leading cause of death for 10- to 24-year olds, LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning) youth are at particular risk for suicide.  According to The Trevor Project (www.thetrevorproject.org), LGB youth commit suicide at a rate that is four times higher than their peers, while questioning youth commit suicide three times as often as their heterosexual counterparts.  The danger is even greater for transgender individuals.  Over 50% of transgender youth have reported serious thoughts about suicide and 1 in 4 have attempted to kill themselves.  The danger is enhanced for LBGTQ individuals who come from family backgrounds that reject non-heterosexuality and demand gender conformity.  These individuals have a suicide risk that is more than eight times higher than their LGB peers who come from families that accept non-heterosexuality and gender non-conformity.  Therefore, transgender individuals are at the highest risk of committing suicide.

In a case that made national and international headlines, Leelah Alcorn, a transgender teen from Ohio, committed suicide on December 28, 2014.  Leelah grew up in a very conservative Christian household in Kings Mill, Ohio.  Kings Mill is about 30 miles Northeast of Cincinnati.  Leelah requested that she be allowed to begin the transition process from male-to-female, but her family refused.  Instead, they forced Leelah to go to conversion therapy, removed her from her high school and limited her access to social media.  In short, they tried to arrange a living environment that was completely rejecting of non-heterosexuality and which demanded gender conformity.  Leelah killed herself by walking into traffic on a busy Interstate highway, three days after Christmas, and arranged for her suicide note to be publicized after her death.  Within hours of her death, her story made national and international headlines.

The stated aim of conversion therapy is to make non-heterosexual individuals deny their sexuality and only practice heterosexuality and gender conformity.  Therapists proclaim that individuals chose to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender and since it is a choice, individuals can choose heterosexuality and gender conformity.  Generally, conversion therapists are closely tied to religious organizations or churches and is based upon the belief that homosexuality and gender non-conformity is inherently sinful or evil. 

Conversion therapy as a legitimate form of therapy is widely rejected by the medical and mental health communities.  Fourteen years ago, the Surgeon General of the United States proclaimed that there was no scientific evidence that sexuality can be changed.  All of the mainstream medical (i.e., American Medical Association, American Psychiatric Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, and American Academy of Physician Assistants) and professional mental health associations (American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, American Counseling Association, American Psychological Association, National Association of School Psychologists, National Association of Social Workers) have denounced the practice of conversion therapy.  In general, these associations have declared that not only is the practice of conversion therapy not based upon science, but it can actually cause harm to the individual receiving the “therapy.”  Medical associations have declared conversion therapy to be in violation of the Hippocratic Oath because it can cause harm to the individual.  In 1998 (17 years ago), the American Psychiatric Association stated that efforts to change an individual’s sexuality was in opposition to professional standards and in 2000 clarified that it was unethical to attempt to change sexual orientation.

The American Psychological Association, the professional association for psychologists and many master’s-level therapists, released guidelines in 2011 for working with LGBTQ clients.  Therapists who are APA members and practice conversion therapy are in direct violation of these guidelines (http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/guidelines.aspx) and in violation of the code of ethics (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/index.aspx).  Therefore, a member of the APA who participates in conversion therapy is in danger of sanctions or losing membership in their professional association.

Exodus International, a leading proponent of conversion therapy in the United States, discontinued activities supporting conversion therapy and closed in 2013, after operating since the mid-to-late 1970s.  In 2012, the President of Exodus International issued an apology to conversion therapy participants for the harm the organization had caused them and stated unequivocally that conversion therapy does not work. 

On December 9, 2015 in a 7-2 vote, the Cincinnati City Council voted to ban conversion therapy within the city for individuals under the age of 18.  This bill was championed by Chris Seelbach, a City Council member who was himself subjected to conversion therapy.  Cincinnati joined the District of Columbia, California, Illinois, New Jersey and Oregon in prohibiting conversion therapy.  Protestors, including one City Council member, have vowed to overturn the ban and have threatened a lawsuit to end the ban.  They portend that the conversion therapy ban will have a chilling effect on free speech and freedom of religion.  They also argue that it takes away parental rights and the rights of LGBTQ youth who want to change their sexual orientation.

Free speech has constitutional limits.  An individual is not allowed to yell “fire” in a crowded building when no such danger exists, because it has the potential to harm individuals.  Think about that for a moment.  It has the potential to harm individuals.  Does conversion therapy have the potential to harm?  Absolutely, it does.

There is also legal precedent for limits to freedom of religion. Since 1982, there have been more than five dozen criminal cases prosecuted against parents who did not provide their child with appropriate medical treatment.  The government has an inherent interest in protecting the rights of children.  I propose that the government has a strong interest in preventing conversion therapy, because not only is it not scientifically-based but also has been shown to be harmful in many cases.  Causing harm to children is, by definition, child abuse.  Therefore, parents who force their children to attend conversion therapy and therapists who practice conversion therapy are guilty of placing a child in a potentially harmful situation, which is tantamount to child abuse.

The Constitution provides for specific freedoms of individuals in the United States.  However, by exercising those freedoms, one does not have the right to harm others.  If adults wish to participate in conversion therapy, that is their choice.  However, forcing a child who is already at tremendous risk of suicide due to LGBTQ status into a type of therapy that promotes the idea that the child is evil and must change is child abuse.  Conversion therapy can be dressed up as a matter of freedom of speech or religious freedom or parental rights by those who believe in it, but that is not the truth. 

The truth is that years of scientific research have not provided support for the usefulness of conversion therapy.  The truth is that none of the medical or professional associations believe that conversion therapy is helpful.  The truth is that even the leading Christian organization in this country that was dedicated to conversion therapy for more than 35 years has admitted wrongdoing.  The truth is that conversion therapy is harmful.  The truth is that parents who force their children into conversion therapy are committing child abuse. The truth is child abuse is not a parental right.  The truth is the government has every right to stop child abuse.

Porter, N. (January 2016). Cincy bans conversion therapy. The Gay Word, 24(7), 30. http://thegayword.com/cincy-bans-conversion-therapy/

Death Comes to Facebook

     As a Generation Xer, I have adapted to many of the current technologies.  Still, I remember the first time I sent an email (1992), buying my first computer while in college (my one and only Mac) and signing up for MySpace and Facebook.  I have a Twitter account that I don’t really use because I have frequently been misunderstood through texts.  I believe that Twitter would allow me the opportunity at times to be misunderstood on a larger scale.  Lately, I have even distanced myself from Facebook.

     While I am amazed and pleased for the most part with technology and how it has led to increased connectivity with those at a physical distance, there are some trends that I find disturbing.  For instance in a 13-month period from December 2013-January 2015, I was notified of the death of three relatives through announcements and comments on Facebook. 

     The first death, that of my stepmother, I saw myself after logging into Facebook.  My best friend from childhood posted a message remembering my stepmother that included RIP.  I didn’t have much contact with my stepmother.  I always thought she was a wonderful person and I was sorry to hear of her passing.  I am estranged from my father so I was not bothered as much in this instance.  Still it was an odd feeling.

     The second death was that of my paternal grandmother (my father’s mother).  I was working at the office when I received a text from my older brother.  Apparently several of my cousins had posted pictures and announced her passing on Facebook and my brother saw it.  No one in the family made any effort to contact us (my mom, my brothers or me).  I ended up calling my mother and notifying her of my grandmother’s death.  Although I didn’t fully realize it until later, this method of notification was very disturbing to me.

     The third death came earlier this year when one of two maternal aunts (my Mom’s sister) passed away unexpectedly.  It happened on a Saturday and I had not logged into Facebook at all that day.  I was having dinner with a friend and her family and when I left their house around 9:45 pm, I noticed I had received a text from my younger brother.  The text told me that he saw on Facebook that our aunt had died earlier in the day.  This time I was stunned.  Again, no one had bothered to contact me.  I texted my older brother early the next morning and then we spoke on the phone.  He did not know that our aunt had passed away either until my text.  After the conversation with my older brother, I left several voice mail messages for my mother.  She called me back later in the day and when asked why she hadn’t bothered to contact my brothers or me about my aunt’s death, she replied that she just assumed we would find out through Facebook and since she didn’t have any information about funeral arrangements she had planned to call when she had more information.

     At this point, I was completely overwhelmed.  Since when it is acceptable for family members to be notified of a loved one’s death through Facebook?  To me it is almost incomprehensible to allow someone to find out a loved one had passed through this medium.  I was just stunned by the lack of consideration.  My mother doesn’t have a Facebook account so she really doesn’t have any understanding of how Facebook works. 

     The cumulative weight of these deaths hit me hard and in my opinion was worsened by my feelings about how I was notified.  Our Internet connectedness seems to have led to a callousness regarding actual real time contact.  This is quite worrisome to me.  I am the first to admit that I have Facebook friends that I do not talk too.  Many of these are family members who I rarely see and I am friends with them on Facebook so I can find out about family news.  It is a way of monitoring news without having to take an active role unless I want to.  Still, as I watched family members interacting with each other in grief over these deaths I wondered why things like death couldn’t be worked out between family members offline rather than in a public forum like Facebook.  Although distant family members were able to express their support to the immediate family members, there was also infighting on Facebook between the immediate family members.  Again, this was disturbing to me.

     I do not think that I am a technophobe by any stretch of the imagination.  However, I do not wish to find out about the deaths of family members through Facebook.  Perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, since January I have noticed that I have sharply decreased the amount of time I spend on Facebook.  Some weeks I will not visit Facebook at all.  I think that classical conditioning may be partly to blame.  In some way, Facebook has become connected to negativity and loss and I find myself with little desire to sign in.  Maybe some people are not or would not be disturbed by death notifications via Facebook.  All I know is that I am old enough to be revolted by the practice.  That is The View From Here.  

I Am Home (March 23, 2015)

            I returned to South Florida in January after being gone for about five-and-a-half years.  Yesterday, one of my best friends asked me (yet again) why I moved back to such an effed-up state.  Ah, Florida…where the current governor is a climate-change denier, the prison system is rife with corruption and scandal and parts of Miami Beach are flooding regularly with high tide.  Just this week, a little boy who is the same age as my oldest nephew was killed by a family member.  Both of his parents have criminal records and DCF was called multiple times with abuse reports, but of course now it is too late.

            When she asked me why I returned to Florida, it did make me pause for a moment.  When I am being objective, I understand completely that this is indeed an effed-up state.  But the truth is that Florida is the only place that feels like home.  For me, Florida seems to be that ex-girlfriend that I just cannot get over.  We have “broken up” twice before in 1996 and in 2009, so this is the storied third time around.  If I am being truly honest I have to admit that all of the craziness and all of the paradoxes in Florida somehow fit me.  I fit here.

            Another truth is that I feel an urgency of mission.  Before too many years have passed, almost certainly in my lifetime, this spot where I am sitting will be under water.  Climate change and melting glaciers have precipitated tremendous change already.  This week is the 100^th anniversary of the founding of Miami Beach.  In yesterday’s Miami Herald, along with celebratory articles about the week-long activities that will be taking place, there was an article that asked if Miami Beach will become a second Venice (Italy, not Florida).  For Miami Beach is an illusion, a man-made beach filled with sand that was dredged out of the sea and the sea is ever fighting to reclaim its rightful place.  Miami Beach was manufactured in the truest sense of the word -- made by man.  But I digress…

            Why am I here?  I am in South Florida because I understand that South Florida is living on borrowed time and I want to be able to enjoy the time that is left.  I am here on a mission to become involved in and to serve my communities – the HIV/AIDS community, the LGBTQ community, the South Florida community, the Florida community.  These are my people and I came back to serve them.  I can’t change Florida, but I can give back to my community.  This community that helped to make me the adult that I am today.

            For despite my cringing whenever another crazy story about Florida attracts national attention or at other times when Florida makes headlines for all the wrong reasons, this is my community.  This is where I belong.  This is where I have a voice and can be heard.  I can make a difference.  I can use my talents and skill to help my local HIV/AIDS community as a proxy for the entire HIV/AIDS community and I can help my local Pride Center as a proxy for the entire LGBTQ community and so contribute to my city, Broward County, the South Florida region and the state of Florida.  I am needed.  My spirit matters, my energy matters, my heart matters, my mind matters, my love matters, my light matters…I matter.  And so as March 2015 is speeding to a close, that is The View From Here.  

Planting the Seeds of Change (4/11/2013)

On Easter, I watched “The Butterfly Effect” for the third time.  At first, I wasn’t clear on why I chose that particular movie to watch on Easter.  After speaking with a friend of mine about it, I realized that two of the movie themes were consistent with an Easter or Spring theme.

In the movie, the main character has the ability to time travel and so he goes back in time again and again to key moments in his life and changes what happened.  What he doesn’t realize at first is that each change dramatically alters his not only his life but also at least four other people’s lives as well.  While the outcome is more positive for some of the people, it is more negative for others.  Once he starts changing things, he goes back repeatedly, each time dramatically affecting the lives of family members and friends.

The lesson for me is that everything that happened in my past has led me to this point today.  If anything had been different, everything would be different.  The second lesson for me is that changes, however small they seem, can have dramatic outcomes.  Each small change that the main character made in the movie dramatically altered the course of events, and so it can be for us as well.

Change can be overwhelming, especially if we are far away from where we want to be now or where we want to end up.  If we want to make dramatic changes, making a minor adjustment may seem like a drop of water in the ocean.  What we need to remember is that even small adjustments to behavior or thinking can lead to a different outcome.  Spring is a time for planting seeds, for renewal, for resurrection.  Making even a small change today can lead to a remarkable improvement in your life over time.

Think about where you are today, the events that have shaped your life and led you to this place.  Be grateful even for negative events that have shaped you.  Know that in dealing with the challenges of life we learn about ourselves.  It allows us to practice courage, perseverance, faith, hope, and develops our inner strength.

In turn, consider one small positive change that you can make today that will improve your life.  Do it.  It may be that this one small change will allow you to fulfill your dreams and change your life.

http://www.gayrva.com/news-views/planting-the-seeds-of-change/

The Best National Defense is a Good…Education (May 7, 2012)

One thing that has really bothered me during the Republican primary season is the seeming ongoing disdain in many parts of the Republican Party towards education.  Perhaps it is because the most vocal component of the Republican Party is the religious fundamentalist community.  Fundamentalists, by definition, do not want progress or change.  We have to realize that there is a dark underbelly in American life that consists of individuals who would prefer to live in a utopian America that was only positive for white, heterosexual men.  In many ways, the utopian America of their dreams never existed in the first place.  Despite what fundamentalists want, today America is a multiracial, multicultural country.

In this era of trying to determine what we can and cannot afford as a country, many fiscal conservatives cannot imagine cuts to the defense budget.  But we are living in a world in which our greatest threats do not come from countries or militaries.  Cyber attacks could damage entire regions of power grids or water supplies in the U.S.  Biological agents have been used in attacks in other countries.  The only way our country will remain strong is through education.  In order to do that, we need not only the best and the brightest, but those individuals with transferable job skills.

Results from the Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study, which allows comparisons between U.S. students and students from around the world, are disturbing.  In 2007, the last year for which data were analyzed, fourth grade students in the U.S. were ranked eighth in the world in science and 11th in mathematics.  Eighth grade students in the U.S. were ranked 11th in science and ninth in mathematics.  Unfortunately, we are definitely not educating students who are the best in the world.

Higher education, when executed properly, teaches and enhances critical thinking skills.  These skills allow individuals to weigh arguments and determine what is rational and what is not.  Many fundamentalists fear rational thought because their worldview and beliefs are not rational.  Therefore, they view critical thinking skills as threatening.  On the contrary, advanced cognitive skills are more necessary than ever to enable individuals to gain competencies that will keep us competitive with the European Union and Asia.

Republicans have to realize that fundamentalism is damaging our ability to have a strong national defense and our status as a world leader.  Republican candidates understand that they must pander to the extreme right in order to win the Republican nomination.  However, presidential candidates who have sneered at the value of education have damaged local schools by influencing local and state leaders who set the budgets for public K-12 schools and colleges and universities.  Defunding education when our youth are consistently falling behind other countries will only increase threats to our national defense long term.  National defense can be measured not only by military hardware but by the number of educated, critical thinkers who allow the U.S. to compete with the rest of the world.  That is what fundamentalists do not understand.

http://www.gayrva.com/news-views/oped/the-best-national-defense-is-a-good-education/

Romney's First Gay Bashing?

I have thought about Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney’s high school bullying since the in-depth article in the Washington Post appeared on May 11th.  I have considered my own high school years.  Would I want to be judged now, some 20-plus years later over things that I did as a teenager?  No, I would not.  I have also considered that brain development is not complete until individuals are in their 20s.  Specifically, brain processes that manage impulse control and predicting consequences are some of the last to form.  Still, Mormonism aside, Governor Romney does not truly understand what it is like to be marginalized in a country that purports that everyone is equal, unless you are gay.

Washington Post writers gathered independent accounts from participants and onlookers of the alleged incident.  These accounts depicted Romney as the ringleader of the pack of teenage boys that attacked their classmate.  Nevertheless, Romney claims he has no memory of the attack.  For me, the most troubling part is that assaulting a classmate with a weapon (scissors) cannot be recalled.

We all have things in our past that we are not proud of.  Hopefully, we have apologized or attempted to right those wrongs.  However, every person who has ever been assaulted lives with that trauma for the rest of their lives.  Assault can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can haunt individuals for years.  A classmate, who was one of the attackers, recounted that he apologized to the victim after a chance meeting at an airport years after the incident.  This gay man (the victim) remained traumatized by the incident more than 20 years later.

Other classmates recalled that the victim was presumed by classmates to be gay.  Romney has claimed that he grew up in an age when being gay was not discussed, so he had no reason to believe that the victim of this assault was gay.  Over and over again in these independent accounts, classmates recalled that Romney disliked this young man because he seemed different, because he had long hair, because Romney did not believe that the young man fit in with their private school image.  I do not condone or defend any type of bullying, but this was not a verbal attack.  It was an assault…with a weapon.

Romney has lived a life of privilege. In addition, his Mormon faith has further insulated him from understanding the needs of marginalized groups.  Should engaging in bullying as a teenager disqualify someone from being president?  I don’t think so.  However, Romney cannot recall an assault that made such an impression on participants and onlookers that years later they recalled it in detail.  Either Romney is a liar or a person so out of touch that he believed this assault was deserved in order to make the victim conform to social norms; therefore, it was non-memorable.  I hope Romney is lying.  If not, I hope that the latter characteristic proves to be a fatal flaw for his candidacy.

http://www.gayrva.com/news-views/romneys-first-gay-bashing/  May 22. 2012